I gave up three weeks ago.
I had interviewed for a job and really wanted it. I thought I had it. That is how well I thought the interview went. Outwardly I was trying to keep calm and not show how excited I was but inwardly? I was already planning. I had mentally packed up my current office and had a goodbye party. I started planning my first week on the new job. I wondered if the cube I sat in to do the written part of the interview would be my new home.
The day that we were supposed to find out, I jumped every time the phone rang and became more and more upset that it wasn’t them. I was talking to a coworker when I saw an email pop up from the manager. As soon as I saw the pop up I knew. I didn’t even have to open the email to know I wasn’t chosen. When my coworker left the office I opened the email anyway and started crying. Needless to say, that was one tough afternoon to get through.
For the last two weeks, I have been eating all kinds of junk food because I have lost all hope of finding a new job, of receiving a promotion. This was the seventh time in the last 3 years that I have applied for this position (with different departments) and the third or fourth time I was invited for an interview. I lost track. I don’t know what this means, except that I can’t keep applying for this position. I keep thinking of the saying, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.
My hope is to build a successful photography business, but I need to have a steady income until that gets going. My current job is ok, but I have been doing it for almost nine years, almost 4 with the current department. I want and need a change. I am not challenged. I am not growing or moving forward. I had hoped that getting a promotion would help.
I feel as if I have finally hit rock bottom. I know eating sweets won’t make me feel better. In fact, I usually feel worse. I have started making an effort to eat better. I decided to start working out again this past Sunday. I need to get into a routine and stick it out even when I am having a bad, stressful day.
I ordered a book, written by my former health coach, to help me get and stay on track. I started it last week and am slowly working my way through. If you are interested, click on the photo below (disclaimer: it’s linked to my amazon associate account). I would suggest ordering the actual book as there are spots to do the exercises.
Hopefully, between running, weights and this book, I can pull myself up and be happy and healthy again. I hope this new motivation will keep up. I didn’t step on the scale for the first few weeks of December. I was scared what it would say. I had to suck it up and step on it Sunday. It’s time to recommit to my health and happiness.
How do you stay motivated when stressed? What do you do to find your happiness again?
