Author: Jenna

Since I last wrote I finished my first half marathon on November 3rd. I reached 2 of 3 goals and just barely missed the third.

1) I completed the half marathon

2) I ran the entire race (minus the few water stations where I had to walk)

3) Finish in 2:30 – This is the one I just missed. I came in at 2:31:51 seconds. My goal for PF Chang’s Rock N Roll Half will be 2:30 or less. I think I can do that.

The weather was pretty decent. It was a little warm by the end but perfect to start off. The route was great. My only complaint is they put a photographer at the top of the biggest hill. We don’t have many of those in Phoenix so it takes a lot of effort to push through them. I did not look pretty when I reached the top.

During the first mile I wasn’t sure I was even going to be able to run. I tried to start off fairly slow, and I was pretty slow but not out of choice. I was having some horrible shin splints. I was nearly in tears. I thought about giving up. I convinced myself to stick with it and by mile two/three I was feeling much better.

I started off so slow that I didn’t pass the 2:45 pace group until about mile 5. I never did catch up to, or even see, the 2:30 pace group. They must have went much faster than 2:30.

I ordered this picture with a fancy frame that shows my name and finish time.

It felt so amazing to cross the finish line. I completed 13.1 miles. If you had told my 14-year-old self that I would even think about a half marathon at 33 she would have laughed at you. I used to hate running. Mostly because my asthma was so bad and I didn’t have any control over it at that time (and the drugs they gave me did nothing).

I took a week off and have been slowly adding miles again. I ran 4.28 miles yesterday. I am trying to add between .25 and .75 each time I run. I am feeling good and moving faster. The weather has been so great.

Saturday I have a virtual 5K. I ran the real 5K last year. I hope to beat my time, although without the race setting I tend to pace fairly slow. I will have to push myself. Maybe wearing the bib will help.

I’m number 3, watch for me on the road! (I won’t be wearing the race t-shirt. It is long sleeve!)

After my virtual race I am planning a Thanksgiving Day race. I am debating between a 10K or 10 miles. I am currently leaning toward the 10K since I haven’t been logging as many miles. After that I have a few races planned in December and January to keep me out of trouble!

I completed my longest long run today, 13 miles, and I learned some valuable lessons in those miles. You have a lot of time to think when it is just you and the road for 13 miles.

Even though it feels great at a little before 6, the sun will soon be above the horizon and without a cloud in the sky it will get hot very quick. I should know this. I just can’t get up and moving much before 6. I try but it never happens. I just need to accept the fact that clouds are a rarity here in Arizona and the sun will always shine.

I started off really well in my training, working very hard not to miss a day but then I fell off the wagon. I struggled for the last few weeks to hit every run. Why? Humidity. I have learned that I would much rather run in 110+ degrees with little to no humidity than 105 with humidity. Humidity doesn’t allow my skin to cool off and I overheat quite easily. 

I also learned that if I stick with my training these runs will be much easier. A few weeks ago I did a 10 mile run with no problems. I ran all 10 miles. Today I struggled with 13 miles. I even tried to take a few short walk breaks early on to help but I ended up walking half of the last three miles. This doesn’t include the pit stop I took at home to refill my water/Gatorade bottles. Note to self: purchase another set of bottles for my belt so I can just exchange on the fly.

I have been running off and on for about 10 years. I have never had the dreaded chub rub until this week. Now my thighs are on fire! I guess I need to pick up some body glide. Who knew a little chaffing could hurt so much?? I’ve only had minor chaffing on the underarms due to dance costumes. It never lasted long after but man, the thighs are another story!

Shoes really do make all the difference. I have been doing my last few runs in my trail runners because my other shoes are dead. I can tell a difference. My trail runners are heavier and don’t fit as well. I have a blister on my toe to prove it. I really don’t like the heaviness either. My legs feel like they are running through concrete at times.

I have lost my ability to know my approximate pace. I noticed it this week. I feel like I am running much faster than I am. I don’t know if it is the shoes, the heat or something else. I need to work on this. I was so good at pacing myself last winter/earlier this summer.

But I have gained the ability to breathe through my nose for most of my run! I used to always struggle with that. I would start out ok but as I picked up speed I would start to breathe through my mouth, which lead to a dry throat and drinking mas quantities of water. It seems I have finally conquered this last road block. I noticed today that my breathing felt natural and I was rarely switching to mouth breathing. I think I may have my asthma under control without medicine! *knocks on wood*

And lastly, a confession. I remember reading in a forum about girls that go commando when they workout. I was all, “Ewwww, that is so unsanitary” but I have found myself going for runs in just my compression shorts. And it feels fabulous! I don’t have to worry about where my underwear is. I feel dryer actually. So, I admit it. I was wrong. I like running sans underwear! LOL

I completed the 13 miles in about 2 hours 45 minutes and I am now fairly confident that I can finish my half around 2:30. How do I figure? Well, November will be cooler, therefor; I will be faster. Plus I have time to continue working on my endurance and stamina.

I feel like I have a list a mile long of products to buy at Road Runner Sports. Now I just need to find the time to get my butt over there. I will be a much happier runner when I do!

Sunday morning I got up early. I was looking forward to an easy 6 mile long run. I ate a little something, got dressed and headed out. I did my warm up walk and then hit the ground running. Slowly. Very slowly. My legs had never felt this heave before. I was on pace for a 14:30 miles. My legs just kept getting heavier and heavier.

It was hot. It was humid. Why was it so hot and humid so early? And then it happened. I stopped. I started crying. I could not run any further. I checked my runkeeper. One mile. I went one mile. One mile of six. I could not run any further. Ii walked home, trying to hold in the tears. I took off all my gear. I went to bed. I was still in my running clothes and shoes and I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up about ab hour and a half later and realized this should not happen. Something was wrong. I felt tired, run down and always hungry. I need more calories. I need to eat more. But how much more? I don’t want to gain. I’d actually like to lose more, maybe 10-15 pounds.

I gave myself permission to eat for the last 3-4 days. And eat I did. Now I need to eat to survive and conquer my half marathon and the training that goes with it.

I am currently set to maintenance for moderately active (3-5 days/hours per week) but my miles are starting to rack up and I still want to do some strength training. Do I then use very active (6-7 days/hours per week)?

Here is what I am currently doing:

Tues/Thurs/Sat: 4-5 miles 45-60 minutes (not including warm up, cool down and stretching)
Sunday: 10+ miles (starting this week) 90-120+ minutes (again not including warm up, cool down and stretching)
You Are Your Own Gym: 4 days a week but thinking of cutting it to two days a week. I would do this Tues/Thurs/maybe Sat after my run. Then Mon and Wed would be complete rest days. Each YAYOG workout is about 40 minutes (including rest breaks).

Should I be moderate or very active? Or somewhere in between? Do I cut 10% to keep trying to lose weight? I don’t know why but my brain is just swimming with all these numbers. I am feeling completely lost.

I have always thought of myself as a fairly confident individual. I was always sure of who I was and that I could accomplish whatever I put my mind to. I was also confident in my body and looks.

But over the past year or so I have struggled to regain that confidence. I felt fat. I felt that I failed at a lot of things in general. I felt things were beyond my control. I was not happy. I lost most, if not all, of my confidence. I decided to change for the better. I started with what I knew I could change: my health.

I am still struggling with losing weight but I am getting my confidence back. My body isn’t perfect but it is much better. My calf muscles are solid. My waist is more defined. My stomach is flatter (when I watch my wheat and sodium intake). My clothes fit and look better, although most are now too big. You can see I have a shape again. I still have work to do but I love my body again.

And I am realizing what my body is capable of again. I was always confident in dance, volleyball and weight lifting (among other physical activities) but I’ve always struggled to be confident in my running. I hated having to run a mile in gym class. I have exercise induced asthma and didn’t know how to breathe (and of course gym teachers had no clue how to help me except just say, “do what you can”). I sucked. When I quit dance I started running off and on as a way to stay in shape. Over the years I have gotten better at the whole breathing thing but at each new distance I worry I can’t do it. I lose my confidence.

I am training for my first half marathon (even though when I signed up I had never done more than 6 miles at a time). For awhile I thought I was crazy. I kept thinking, “I can’t do this. What was I thinking?” I told myself I had to stick exactly to the training schedule in order to reach this goal.

I was going along really well, feeling great and then I missed two runs in one week due to back issues. I missed my long run. It was to be seven miles. I had never done seven miles. I looked ahead and saw my next long run was eight miles. How could I do eight if I didn’t do seven? I started freaking out, just a tad. I worried I wouldn’t be able to complete all eight. I looked at my run details. It was to be four miles at a slow, steady pace, followed by three at a faster pace and the last back to the slow, steady pace. I decided that mentally I would break the run into three runs. I know I can do four miles, three miles and one mile.

You know what? I did it. I ran the entire eight miles. It was sometimes slower than my target pace but I finished. I don’t know what happened but now I know I can do 13.1 miles. My mind is now saying, “If you can do eight, you can do 13.1” I feel so much confidence in my training now. I feel like I can reach the running goals I set myself.

I am feeling like my old, confident self. And I love it!

Have you ever lost your confidence? How did you get it back? What makes you feel most confident?

I published this originally on a my fitness pal blog. I decided to share it with the world, despite how embarrassing it may be. I was not a firm believer in taking pictures of my weight loss but after this weekend I can see the power.

I have been at about the same weight since February and not really losing. I decided to take some pictures this weekend and compare to the September and February ones. To my surprise I can see slight differences in my body. I am not where I want to be yet but this has given me motivation to keep moving forward.

Please be gentle. 😉

Front:

Back:

Side:

Left Arm:

Right Arm:

If you feel stuck in your weight loss I strongly encourage you to take pictures. You may not always see the result on the scale (or even with the tape measure) but they may be there regardless! Also, try to wear as similar outfit as possible; it makes comparing so much easier!

I know it has been a very long time since I have posted. I will try to keep this brief though. 🙂

First, I took the month of June off from actively trying to lose weight. I felt I needed a break and my body was no longer cooperating with weight loss. I ate what I wanted (within reason) and worked out. It was great. My first weigh-in on 7/8 (started fresh with weight loss on 7/1) I was down almost 1.5 pounds, which puts me back in the healthy weight category. 7/15 I was up .4 of a pound. I think I was retaining water though as I had been extremely bloated a few days earlier and my muscles were sore from P90X. 

I have started reading New Rules of Lifting for Women because I want to get back into weight lifting. It will take some time as I need to acquire all the necessary equipment at a cheap price. Weight lifting should help with body comp and getting rid of all my tummy fat.

Today I started my half marathon training with an easy 3 miler. It took me 32 minutes. I started off extremely slow. Come on, I had to be up at 4 to get this run in. I don’t do mornings so I am calling this a good time! I am still afraid that I won’t be able to complete the training and the half but I am trying to put those fears aside. I am determined not to miss a workout and will make whatever sacrifices necessary to complete each one. Hence getting up at 4 so I can go see Despicable Me 2 tonight. I will also be running before my flight on Thursday and Saturday/Sunday while on vacation. My boyfriend thinks I am nuts and doesn’t get why I can’t skip one. It is hard to explain the why. I just feel I will fail if I don’t prepare correctly/well enough and I don’t want to fail.

My depression seems to have gotten better. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days but overall I feel better. I struggle some days to get through a day of work but I try to think about things that make me happy or something I have to look forward to. 

On a side note, I finally gave in and bought myself a dslr. It is a canon 60D but I can’t use it yet because the batter that came with it was defective. I have ordered a replacement battery and it should be here today. I have started a separate website for that (I am hoping to turn it into a side business and earn some extra cash) but I won’t post about the details until it is actually up and running. 🙂

Thursday I leave for San Francisco and cannot wait! I will post about all the loveliness when I get back (and hopefully have some good pictures to share!)

Lately I have been afraid. Afraid that I will not be able to lose any more weight. Afraid that no matter how hard I work I will stay stuck. I do not want to live in fear but I am at a loss at how to move past this spot on the scale.

For about 4-6 weeks I plateaued. I gained and lost the same 2-4 pounds. Then finally I broke through and for two weeks consistently lost. Then last weekend happened. I hopped on the scale Saturday morning. Up two pounds. “Ok, don’t panic. It’s water retention; no way you ate 7,000 extra calories.” I told myself. I thought, I’ll try again tomorrow. So Sunday, hopped on the scale. Same thing. Monday was another repeat performance.

I did not record scale weight or measurements this past weekend. I am dreading next weigh-in day. I don’t know how to shake the doubt that this is what I am destined to be. It’s not terrible but it’s not what I want.

Before you say, “but what about your measurements?” or “how do your clothes fit” the answer is my measurements are about the same as they have been for the last 8 weeks or so. All my clothes fit about the same. I am not gaining enough to cause my clothes to be too tight. I’m not losing enough to make the tape measure get tighter. I am in the black hole of weight loss.

Thank you NASA for the picture.

I am going to focus on continuing to eat better, including more whole foods to help with my high blood pressure. I am going to aim to work out at least 60 minutes each day (minus a rest day of course). I need to keep up my running so I can start my half marathon training in July. I need to finish P90X. I need to accomplish other things so the weight loss feels less significant.

I am going to leave my calories at 1624. It worked for most of my weight loss and it broke my plateau. I am chalking last week up to in irregularity unless it continues for a few more weeks. Then I will reevaluate my calories.

Tell Me: What are you afraid of currently? Have you ever plateaued during weight loss? If so, what did you do to “jump-start” your loss again?

This is a hard post for me to write. I have never been one to talk about my problems, except maybe to one or two close friends who are allowed to see the real me. Approximately three times in my life I have struggled with a mild depression. Once was after I graduated from college and felt stuck in my home town. The second, and worse, was a few years ago when I was forced into a miserable work situation. I came out of it once I was removed from that situation. Currently I am struggling with it again. I believe because I feel stuck again. My career has stalled. I feel like a failure. I feel all my ambition to work hard and desire  to make something of myself is wasted. Maybe because I feel a lot of who I am is tied into my education and career. I take a lot of pride in my brain and work ethic.

On top of that I have always been one who has to please other people. I need to make sure everyone else is ok. Often times I suffer from not doing what I want or being who I want to be. I feel like when I am not truly happy (not just the fake front I put forward) that I have failed those around me. This has been an issue for me my entire life. There were parents to please, teachers, friends and later boyfriends and bosses. It gets taxing making sure all of these people are taken care of.

Earlier this year I discovered that my blood pressure was abnormally high for me. I am considered pre-hypertension now (I have since checked it an additional two times). Since I already track my food intake I immediately checked my sodium. With the exception of maybe one day a week I am always well below the recommended 2300 mg. I know the issue is this dark cloud hanging over me and the stress I always seem to carry around.

I have several goals (I am planning a future post about these) but one of them is to shake of this depression and become my usual self. Hand in hand with that is to get my stress under control and thus my blood pressure. Being the type A, green personality I am I am spending time researching. What I should eat. What I should do. How to relax. I can’t help it that researching relaxes me. I like to learn and grow.

This is one way to relax, watch a sunset! (Picture: My own from a trip to San Diego)

I am working to rid myself of the negative stress reactors and learn more positive reactions. My goal this week is to not complain. This is hard but I am determined to work on it. I make myself pause and take a few deep breaths if I realize I am complaining. If it is too bad I will go for a walk (I haven’t reached this point yet).

Tell Me: How do relax? How do  you deal with stress, depression and daily life issues?

I know it has been quite some time since I last posted (April 1st to be exact) and I kind of dropped out of the challenge I was doing. I have a lot going on, mostly in my own head, and just haven’t had the time/energy/want to write. Now I want to write and have something to actually share the I feel is worth while. 🙂

As I am sure everyone knows Monday was rocked with extreme tragedy when a bomb went off at the Boston Marathon. I was glued to my phone and following all the updates on twitter. As someone who aspires (or pretends) to be a runner, this hit close to home. Tuesday I ran my training run in honor of Boston and Saturday’s race was also in honor of Boston. I will keep running in honor of those who no longer can. My heart goes out to all those affected by such tragedies.

Yesterday I participated in my first Pat’s Run. This event honors one human who sacrificed a promising career in the NFL to serve his country only to meet a tragic end. I have meant to do this run/walk over the past several years but never committed. I am glad I chose this year to participate in the 9th annual race.

It was a little surreal actually. There were police officers and FBI agents everywhere (and probably more I didn’t see undercover). I saw several bomb sniffing dogs. No one was allowed to bring bags, which makes it difficult when you are on your own like I am at many races. I understand the precautions and appreciate them though. This race probably has the most meaning for people of the Valley. I wasn’t necessarily worried that the same people who were responsible for Boston would show up here but you never know about a local copy cat. This race draws 20,000+ runners and approximately 38,000 people total. It’s quite large and quite significant. There were runners present from all 50 states. Besides that there were shadow runs in several locations around the country.

The race was well-organized but of course people either don’t follow directions or overestimate their skill level. I spent most of the race dodging walkers and slower runners who didn’t have the knowledge or courtesy to move to the right. This was especially prevalent towards the end,a s the course narrowed. By the last mile or so I am amped up and ready to go! I like to pace myself early and finish strong but I found it slow going at the end. Finally I gave up being polite and did what other runners were doing…. weaved my way through walkers. I probably cut a few off and annoyed them. I am ok with this though because several times on the course I was slowed down and about to pass (even looking over my shoulder to be sure I could move over) and had someone come out of nowhere to cut me off.

I honestly don’t remember much about running on to the field and crossing the finish line. I heard cheering. I heard the mc. I saw the clock. But mostly it is a blur. My mind was blank at this point and I was pushing myself to sprint across the line, like usually. I had a surge of energy when the tunnel opened to the field and I just took off. I thought I would have been much more emotional. I think had I been handed a bottle of water and able to exit in normal fashion I would have. They were funneling everyone out the same way and we just stood still for a few minutes. People kept trying to push past but there was nowhere to go. All I could think about was how much I needed water. I was riding my finish high but adrenaline was draining. Thirst was taking over.

Once out of the clusterfuck I saw people with oranges, bananas and water but I saw no stations or signs. I walked down to the expo and got caught in another crowd trying to go over the bridge to the expo. It was like never-ending crowds. I spent some time in the expo and took two powerades because I still hadn’t found water. Finally got a bottle of water, stretched out a bit and headed back over the bridge to find my way out. Of course I stumble across the bananas and water, nowhere near where we were forced to exit. I grabbed a banana and headed for home.

I am torn as to whether I would do Pat’s Run again. I want to because of what it represents and the money goes to a great cause but the number of people, most who probably only participate in this one race, drove me bananas. No one seemed to know the “rules of the road” and the course was narrowed at a few points making it difficult to maneuver. Although knowing this, I can be even better prepared next year. I have a year to think it over.

I did enjoy the course. It seemed like an easy 4.2 miles. There was a good mix of hills and flat. There was water at every mile mark and they didn’t over fill the water. I just made note after mile 1 to go to the end of the water stations. They were incredible long and everybody tried to stop at the first table. It became easier to get water quickly once I figured this out.

I estimated my time to be 43 minutes, thinking I might go a bit faster due to adrenaline. I ended up at 43:19 which I equate to the spots I had to slow down due to too many people and not enough room to pass. Overall I am ok with this time. When I finished I thought it was much worse, like 50 minutes.

My breakdown:

Overall: 10,103 out of 23,303
Females: 3,589 out of 11,659
1 Mile: 11:05
2 Mile: 10:43
3 Mile: 11:16
4 Mile: 10:31

I was not surprised to see my split for mile 3. That is where I was slowed down the most. I always start out slow so mile 1 not surprising. I thought mile 4 was much worse because of how slow it felt. I think what happened was the first half of mile 4 was much slower but I really kicked it up when I started weaving and once I hit the field. Overall I am proud of what I accomplished yesterday.

Oh and my bib had a place to put a name “in honor of” and I wrote Boston. In blue. I was happy to see other runners wrote Boston there. Many others wore Boston apparel and a few pinned other Boston related signs to their back. I was almost moved to tears before the start. There was a moment of silence followed by thank you’s to all agencies involved. The cheering of the crowd to the Boston PD, FBI etc was so loud. I was so proud to be a part of this. You can’t keep the running community down.