Do you ever feel like your way of thinking could be holding you back? I don’t mean optimism/pessimism; I mean your ideas and beliefs about who you are or what you do. I do. I feel as if I’ve been thinking about myself as someone who works out because it’s what we do. Not because I’m an athlete. Not because I have goals I want to hit. But because I’m a woman and we need to work out.

Well, I’m sick of this mindset. I want to change.

I want to stop thinking about things as a workout, a way to “lose weight” or “get in shape.” I mean what does the generic “get in shape” even mean? I want to focus on training for races. My end goal is not just fitness. My end goal is to finish a marathon.

And maybe get faster while I’m at it.

I need to start thinking of myself as an athlete. It’s difficult because I haven’t thought that for a long time. I grew up playing sports and dancing, but I haven’t thought of myself as athletic for about 20 years.

I do need to lose some weight, but it’s not the main focus. It’ll be the by-product of becoming a more well-rounded athlete. I need to think about food is fuel. It helps me lift heavier and run farther. Food is not my emotional support system.

Hopefully eating better and training will help with my energy level, but I need to start pushing through my low energy days. Even if I’m tired, I should do something because something is better than nothing.

I need to utilize my running coach and stick to our plan.

Weights and plyo are on the schedule because they aid in my training. They help me get faster. They help to round out my training. I’ve gotten back on track with running, stretching, and yoga. Now to get busy with everything else that’s important.

I plan to keep expanding my knowledge of running and training. I’m reading books on anatomy of running and different ideas to getting better such as ChiRunning. I’m combining what I learn to help improve myself.

What mindset do you need to change? How can you start seeing yourself differently?

March was better than February, but I didn’t hit any of my goals. I wanted to run at least 105 miles for the month and PR in at least one of my two races. I didn’t do any of those. But you know what? I went out, and I ran. I may have skipped some days, but I gave myself the grace to do so. I know I’m struggling.

But, I keep going.

Moving forward is all we can do when we stumble. Yes, it’s easier to give up and keep taking those days off, but that just makes it harder to start again. It’s a vicious cycle.

For two of three long training runs, I failed both of them. I went out for a 14 miler and only was able to do 5. It was a run/walk combo and my slowest time ever. I didn’t give up at mile 1. I wanted to, but I told myself I had to do at least 3. I smoked those 3 and did 5 instead! My last one? I got out and at about half a mile in started crying. Yup. So I turned around and went home. I went out the next day and did some miles but definitely not a long run.

I did get 11 of 15 miles during one long run, so I call it a WIN!

I had two races this month, Kiss Me I’m Irish 8k and Wonder Woman 10k. I attempted a PR at both and came within 24 seconds at Kiss Me I’m Irish 8k. I was pushing it but not too much because I wasn’t sure how I felt. I think I could have left a little more out there and had the PR.

At Wonder Woman I spent far too much time and energy dodging large groups of walking women and children. At about mile 3 I was getting warm. This is about where we split off from the 5k. It felt nice to have some space, so I started trying to push a little. I grabbed what I thought was Nuun but turned out to be plain water. I had really needed the Nuun as it was getting hot and I could tell I was losing a lot of salt (my face felt gritty). I knew I could grab it after the turn around so kept going. That was a mistake because I didn’t realize how far out the turn around was. I finally realized around mile 4.5 that I wasn’t going to PR and let myself have a few walk breaks. I did get my Nuun on the way back, even asking to verify it was Nuun. Once I hit the spot where we rejoined the 5k people I had more walkers to contend with as well as crowds gathering of those that were spectating. I had to weave some more.

I may not have PR’d either race, but I had fun trying.

It’s disappointing yes but pushing myself and testing where I’m at in training is fun for me. I don’t always force myself when I have an “easy run” day, so I’m not always aware of my progress or capabilities. I downplay my runs. “I’m slow” “I’m a proud mid-packer” Yes, I am all of that, but I’m also out there most days working my butt off to get better.

How was your March? Did you reach your goals?

I know we are already into the third month of the year, but I’ve pretty much decided on my race schedule for spring. (And a few for winter as well). I will try to remember to update with times and info after each race. I’ll also link to any race reports I typed up.

I am doing the Cactus Flower Trail Series again this year and hope to improve my times even more from last year. My plan is to go out on my Mondays off and get my miles on the same, or similar, trails.

I will probably add a Thanksgiving day Turkey Trot (fun family tradition), and maybe another fun run in December. I love Christmas themed races!

January
5th Resolution Run 5K – small race (maybe 60-70 people), came in 3rd in my age group
6th Resolution Run 5K – hilly course but I was prepared, thought I did really well (for me/the course), and LOVE the medal
19th Rock n Roll 5k – shake out run, took it pretty easy
20th Rock n Roll Half Marathon – Ugh, awful run, you can read the blog about it. I don’t want to think about it anymore. LOL

February
No races scheduled

March
16th Kiss Me I’m Irish 8K – Goal: finish in 52 minutes
24th Wonder Woman 10K – Goal: finish under 60 minutes (That will be a STRETCH)

April
20th Saguaro 7K

May
4th Grandad Half Marathon – Goal: PR with 2:20 or better
11th Desert Marigold 6K
25th Estrella Cactus 5K

June

July
HA! Who would race this time of year in Phoenix?

August

September

October
12th Estrella Cactus 5K

November
16th Desert Marigold 6K

December
7th Saguaro 7K

February was not my month. It was to be another 100+ mile month, and I ended up with 40.7.

The month started with a trip to Dallas and Nashville. I usually have no problem running while on vacation, but this trip was relatively short with lots of air travel. I didn’t even bother taking running clothes with me because I knew I’d be exhausted. I was.

We got back from our trip, and I jumped right back into my plan. And it was going well for a few days. Then we had some out of town visitors and the plan kind of went out the window. I did what I could but weekdays were more difficult with work and leaving time for our visitors.

Then in the middle of the visit, I get a sinus infection. Yay.

For most people, they can run through sinus infections or head colds. My body seems to use all it’s energy to fight it. I had no strength to run. I even stayed home from work for two days, which is extremely rare for me. I usually will go to work (as long as I’m not contagious), but I needed so much more sleep and rest.

Once our visitors left, I took the last few days of February as rest days with the intention of starting March fresh and ready to go. I’ve still got a few sinus issues and a lingering cough, but I’m feeling much better. I’m running at about 99% and ready to tackle March!

How was your February? Did you conquer your goals?

My year of failure.

2018 could be labeled my year of failure. I set a big goal and did not meet it. I set a word of the year and barely kept at it. But you know what? I learned a lot. I did some fun things and some not so fun things.

Fail.

What did I set as my big goal for 2018? To finish a marathon. I didn’t do that. Instead, I ran the half marathon on the Vegas strip at night and it was tons of fun and an experience I will never forget.

Of course, had I ran a marathon I wouldn’t forget that either but shit happens. Instead of dwelling, I took some time to mourn my failure and moved ahead.

More fail.

My word of 2018 was consistency. I was going to journal, blog, and workout consistently. About the only thing I did consistently was run, mostly. I had my ups and downs there too.

My journaling stopped pretty quickly. Although, I’ve been working on it more lately. I’m keeping it short and sweet and doing it when I do my training recap. Blogging? I was hit or miss. Although, I think I’m getting better.

What is on the plate for 2019?

I haven’t set too many goals yet for 2019. I plan to keep my read 52 books in the year. I surpassed that this year by a few books but I really liked the discipline of one book per week. Sometimes I got ahead and others I fell behind.

I want to keep working on my workout consistency and add in weight training. It was pretty spotty this year. I’ve got a good handle on running so it’s the perfect time to add another component. I also want to PR the half marathon I am doing in May. My goal is 2:20. I got myself a coach and feel quite focused and ready to tackle this!

I’m not giving up on the marathon goal yet. I am planning to try again with an early 2020 marathon, meaning my coach will be building up my base over 2019. I will then start training in mid-2019. My goal is to finish but my bonus goal is to break 5 hours. If I don’t, no biggie. I mainly want to finish.

Push.

Push. That’s my word for 2019. I want to push myself to be better. To finish my goals. To go further than I thought I could, both physically and mentally. I am also using this word in my business to push my photography and grow my skills.

I want to push through the depression that has taken over my life. I lost my beloved dog, my dad, and my Uncle since August. Every day is a struggle, some days are better than others. I am trying to surround myself with things and people I love and nurturing those things.

I am trying to move forward as best I can. And that’s all we can do.

What is your word and/or goals for 2019?

Follow me on Instagram to keep up with my daily activities! I try to be present there most days.