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I published this originally on a my fitness pal blog. I decided to share it with the world, despite how embarrassing it may be. I was not a firm believer in taking pictures of my weight loss but after this weekend I can see the power.

I have been at about the same weight since February and not really losing. I decided to take some pictures this weekend and compare to the September and February ones. To my surprise I can see slight differences in my body. I am not where I want to be yet but this has given me motivation to keep moving forward.

Please be gentle. 😉

Front:

Back:

Side:

Left Arm:

Right Arm:

If you feel stuck in your weight loss I strongly encourage you to take pictures. You may not always see the result on the scale (or even with the tape measure) but they may be there regardless! Also, try to wear as similar outfit as possible; it makes comparing so much easier!

 

I know it has been a very long time since I have posted. I will try to keep this brief though. 🙂

First, I took the month of June off from actively trying to lose weight. I felt I needed a break and my body was no longer cooperating with weight loss. I ate what I wanted (within reason) and worked out. It was great. My first weigh-in on 7/8 (started fresh with weight loss on 7/1) I was down almost 1.5 pounds, which puts me back in the healthy weight category. 7/15 I was up .4 of a pound. I think I was retaining water though as I had been extremely bloated a few days earlier and my muscles were sore from P90X. 

I have started reading New Rules of Lifting for Women because I want to get back into weight lifting. It will take some time as I need to acquire all the necessary equipment at a cheap price. Weight lifting should help with body comp and getting rid of all my tummy fat.

Today I started my half marathon training with an easy 3 miler. It took me 32 minutes. I started off extremely slow. Come on, I had to be up at 4 to get this run in. I don’t do mornings so I am calling this a good time! I am still afraid that I won’t be able to complete the training and the half but I am trying to put those fears aside. I am determined not to miss a workout and will make whatever sacrifices necessary to complete each one. Hence getting up at 4 so I can go see Despicable Me 2 tonight. I will also be running before my flight on Thursday and Saturday/Sunday while on vacation. My boyfriend thinks I am nuts and doesn’t get why I can’t skip one. It is hard to explain the why. I just feel I will fail if I don’t prepare correctly/well enough and I don’t want to fail.

My depression seems to have gotten better. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days but overall I feel better. I struggle some days to get through a day of work but I try to think about things that make me happy or something I have to look forward to. 

On a side note, I finally gave in and bought myself a dslr. It is a canon 60D but I can’t use it yet because the batter that came with it was defective. I have ordered a replacement battery and it should be here today. I have started a separate website for that (I am hoping to turn it into a side business and earn some extra cash) but I won’t post about the details until it is actually up and running. 🙂

Thursday I leave for San Francisco and cannot wait! I will post about all the loveliness when I get back (and hopefully have some good pictures to share!)

Lately I have been afraid. Afraid that I will not be able to lose any more weight. Afraid that no matter how hard I work I will stay stuck. I do not want to live in fear but I am at a loss at how to move past this spot on the scale.

For about 4-6 weeks I plateaued. I gained and lost the same 2-4 pounds. Then finally I broke through and for two weeks consistently lost. Then last weekend happened. I hopped on the scale Saturday morning. Up two pounds. “Ok, don’t panic. It’s water retention; no way you ate 7,000 extra calories.” I told myself. I thought, I’ll try again tomorrow. So Sunday, hopped on the scale. Same thing. Monday was another repeat performance.

I did not record scale weight or measurements this past weekend. I am dreading next weigh-in day. I don’t know how to shake the doubt that this is what I am destined to be. It’s not terrible but it’s not what I want.

Before you say, “but what about your measurements?” or “how do your clothes fit” the answer is my measurements are about the same as they have been for the last 8 weeks or so. All my clothes fit about the same. I am not gaining enough to cause my clothes to be too tight. I’m not losing enough to make the tape measure get tighter. I am in the black hole of weight loss.

Thank you NASA for the picture.

I am going to focus on continuing to eat better, including more whole foods to help with my high blood pressure. I am going to aim to work out at least 60 minutes each day (minus a rest day of course). I need to keep up my running so I can start my half marathon training in July. I need to finish P90X. I need to accomplish other things so the weight loss feels less significant.

I am going to leave my calories at 1624. It worked for most of my weight loss and it broke my plateau. I am chalking last week up to in irregularity unless it continues for a few more weeks. Then I will reevaluate my calories.

Tell Me: What are you afraid of currently? Have you ever plateaued during weight loss? If so, what did you do to “jump-start” your loss again?

This is a hard post for me to write. I have never been one to talk about my problems, except maybe to one or two close friends who are allowed to see the real me. Approximately three times in my life I have struggled with a mild depression. Once was after I graduated from college and felt stuck in my home town. The second, and worse, was a few years ago when I was forced into a miserable work situation. I came out of it once I was removed from that situation. Currently I am struggling with it again. I believe because I feel stuck again. My career has stalled. I feel like a failure. I feel all my ambition to work hard and desire  to make something of myself is wasted. Maybe because I feel a lot of who I am is tied into my education and career. I take a lot of pride in my brain and work ethic.

On top of that I have always been one who has to please other people. I need to make sure everyone else is ok. Often times I suffer from not doing what I want or being who I want to be. I feel like when I am not truly happy (not just the fake front I put forward) that I have failed those around me. This has been an issue for me my entire life. There were parents to please, teachers, friends and later boyfriends and bosses. It gets taxing making sure all of these people are taken care of.

Earlier this year I discovered that my blood pressure was abnormally high for me. I am considered pre-hypertension now (I have since checked it an additional two times). Since I already track my food intake I immediately checked my sodium. With the exception of maybe one day a week I am always well below the recommended 2300 mg. I know the issue is this dark cloud hanging over me and the stress I always seem to carry around.

I have several goals (I am planning a future post about these) but one of them is to shake of this depression and become my usual self. Hand in hand with that is to get my stress under control and thus my blood pressure. Being the type A, green personality I am I am spending time researching. What I should eat. What I should do. How to relax. I can’t help it that researching relaxes me. I like to learn and grow.

This is one way to relax, watch a sunset! (Picture: My own from a trip to San Diego)

I am working to rid myself of the negative stress reactors and learn more positive reactions. My goal this week is to not complain. This is hard but I am determined to work on it. I make myself pause and take a few deep breaths if I realize I am complaining. If it is too bad I will go for a walk (I haven’t reached this point yet).

Tell Me: How do relax? How do  you deal with stress, depression and daily life issues?

I know it has been quite some time since I last posted (April 1st to be exact) and I kind of dropped out of the challenge I was doing. I have a lot going on, mostly in my own head, and just haven’t had the time/energy/want to write. Now I want to write and have something to actually share the I feel is worth while. 🙂

As I am sure everyone knows Monday was rocked with extreme tragedy when a bomb went off at the Boston Marathon. I was glued to my phone and following all the updates on twitter. As someone who aspires (or pretends) to be a runner, this hit close to home. Tuesday I ran my training run in honor of Boston and Saturday’s race was also in honor of Boston. I will keep running in honor of those who no longer can. My heart goes out to all those affected by such tragedies.

Yesterday I participated in my first Pat’s Run. This event honors one human who sacrificed a promising career in the NFL to serve his country only to meet a tragic end. I have meant to do this run/walk over the past several years but never committed. I am glad I chose this year to participate in the 9th annual race.

It was a little surreal actually. There were police officers and FBI agents everywhere (and probably more I didn’t see undercover). I saw several bomb sniffing dogs. No one was allowed to bring bags, which makes it difficult when you are on your own like I am at many races. I understand the precautions and appreciate them though. This race probably has the most meaning for people of the Valley. I wasn’t necessarily worried that the same people who were responsible for Boston would show up here but you never know about a local copy cat. This race draws 20,000+ runners and approximately 38,000 people total. It’s quite large and quite significant. There were runners present from all 50 states. Besides that there were shadow runs in several locations around the country.

The race was well-organized but of course people either don’t follow directions or overestimate their skill level. I spent most of the race dodging walkers and slower runners who didn’t have the knowledge or courtesy to move to the right. This was especially prevalent towards the end,a s the course narrowed. By the last mile or so I am amped up and ready to go! I like to pace myself early and finish strong but I found it slow going at the end. Finally I gave up being polite and did what other runners were doing…. weaved my way through walkers. I probably cut a few off and annoyed them. I am ok with this though because several times on the course I was slowed down and about to pass (even looking over my shoulder to be sure I could move over) and had someone come out of nowhere to cut me off.

I honestly don’t remember much about running on to the field and crossing the finish line. I heard cheering. I heard the mc. I saw the clock. But mostly it is a blur. My mind was blank at this point and I was pushing myself to sprint across the line, like usually. I had a surge of energy when the tunnel opened to the field and I just took off. I thought I would have been much more emotional. I think had I been handed a bottle of water and able to exit in normal fashion I would have. They were funneling everyone out the same way and we just stood still for a few minutes. People kept trying to push past but there was nowhere to go. All I could think about was how much I needed water. I was riding my finish high but adrenaline was draining. Thirst was taking over.

Once out of the clusterfuck I saw people with oranges, bananas and water but I saw no stations or signs. I walked down to the expo and got caught in another crowd trying to go over the bridge to the expo. It was like never-ending crowds. I spent some time in the expo and took two powerades because I still hadn’t found water. Finally got a bottle of water, stretched out a bit and headed back over the bridge to find my way out. Of course I stumble across the bananas and water, nowhere near where we were forced to exit. I grabbed a banana and headed for home.

I am torn as to whether I would do Pat’s Run again. I want to because of what it represents and the money goes to a great cause but the number of people, most who probably only participate in this one race, drove me bananas. No one seemed to know the “rules of the road” and the course was narrowed at a few points making it difficult to maneuver. Although knowing this, I can be even better prepared next year. I have a year to think it over.

I did enjoy the course. It seemed like an easy 4.2 miles. There was a good mix of hills and flat. There was water at every mile mark and they didn’t over fill the water. I just made note after mile 1 to go to the end of the water stations. They were incredible long and everybody tried to stop at the first table. It became easier to get water quickly once I figured this out.

I estimated my time to be 43 minutes, thinking I might go a bit faster due to adrenaline. I ended up at 43:19 which I equate to the spots I had to slow down due to too many people and not enough room to pass. Overall I am ok with this time. When I finished I thought it was much worse, like 50 minutes.

My breakdown:

Overall: 10,103 out of 23,303
Females: 3,589 out of 11,659
1 Mile: 11:05
2 Mile: 10:43
3 Mile: 11:16
4 Mile: 10:31

I was not surprised to see my split for mile 3. That is where I was slowed down the most. I always start out slow so mile 1 not surprising. I thought mile 4 was much worse because of how slow it felt. I think what happened was the first half of mile 4 was much slower but I really kicked it up when I started weaving and once I hit the field. Overall I am proud of what I accomplished yesterday.

Oh and my bib had a place to put a name “in honor of” and I wrote Boston. In blue. I was happy to see other runners wrote Boston there. Many others wore Boston apparel and a few pinned other Boston related signs to their back. I was almost moved to tears before the start. There was a moment of silence followed by thank you’s to all agencies involved. The cheering of the crowd to the Boston PD, FBI etc was so loud. I was so proud to be a part of this. You can’t keep the running community down.

I decided to participate in the Wego Health Activists Writers Month Challenge (HAWMC) this year. I had never heard of it when I signed up on a whim. When I got the prompts by email it became obvious that this was geared toward people with a chronic condition, not those trying to lose weight and become healthy. Although I have asthma, I don’t want to focus on that. I am not going to be able to do all the days, as some do not apply but I will do my best and forget the rest! (A little P90X humor there).

Today’s prompt is getting started (hence the clever title post) and we were asked two questions. One I answered above and the other is why do you write?

I write because I enjoy the outlet. Writing helps me see where I’ve been, where I want to go and what I need to do to succeed. I specifically write about my weight loss and fitness journey because I am hoping to connect with others on the same path, learn something new about myself or inspire just one person to make the change for the better.

I gained a lot of weight and reached my highest weight after getting into a long-term relationship. I stopped going to the gym because mine closed. I started eating out more often. One day I realized I was bursting out of my bigger size 12 clothes and knew I had to make the change. I didn’t want to buy larger clothing. I wanted to take up running again. So I did.

I joined my fitness pal and started tracking my food. I bought a scale and tape measure. I started running. I have since added P90X and body weight exercises to my running. I have run many 5 and 8 Ks. I feel stranger and have had to add many of those clothes I was bursting out of to the donation pile. I still have a way to go with my weight loss and fitness goals.

I am currently training for a 10K and after that will be a half marathon. I also want to work on my speed. I run but I’m slow. I am starting to get a workout schedule established and working towards eating more whole foods.

Tell Me: Do you blog about your weight loss, health and fitness goals? If so, why? What health related goal do you want to reach this year? What are you must interested in learning about in relation to weight loss, health and/or fitness?

Who knew that March was National Nutrition Month? I didn’t, until this week.

If you aren’t aware of America’s food insecurity issue, I suggest you check out the documentary A Place at the Table. It does a great job explaining how/why so many Americans do not know where their next meal is coming from. A Place at the Table IMDB page and website. Overall it is a nice little documentary. If you are already aware of these issues it is kind of repeat of facts. Although the personal stories are incredibly moving. Jeff Bridges and celebrity chef Tom Colicchio are featured prominently. Colicchio is also a producer.

This month I started making recipes from my Practical Paleo cookbook. It’s been an experiment and I think overall successful. The recipes themselves are easy and fairly tasty. I have been making notes on what needs to be adjusted. For instance the pesto called for too much olive oil. I also think that some of the dishes need more flavor. I am not looking to become 100% paleo. I like fast food and ice cream and cheese too much! But it is nice to make dinners without grains and dairy. My IBS seems to be much more at bay since I’ve de-stressed and switched to some paleo meals.

Here is a picture of the beef stir fry from the book:

I made this on Friday night. It was really simple. 1 pound beef stir fry meat, 4 cups assorted veggies (I used fresh onion, red pepper, green beans and broccoli) and topped with water chestnuts, green onions and sesame seeds. Oh and there was a really basic sauce with soy sauce (Fry’s didn’t have coconut aminos so this wasn’t 100% paleo), water, ginger and garlic. The sauce was strong but it got lost in the stir fry. I would definitely make more of the sauce next time.

Tell Me: What are you doing for National Nutrition Month? Do you plan to make changes to your diet? If so, what?

 

Looking back I wish I had kept a spreadsheet with my weigh-ins/measurements. I track it on My Fitness Pal but there is no easy way to look back and see how far you’ve come. I might make this a little project and try to determine my weight/measurements from the beginning and input them in a spreadsheet. I feel I could see progress and patterns better. If someone asked me for advice, I would tell them to do this.

I have been busy in the running world. On March 2nd, I got a new 5K PR. I participates in the Run for Ryan House and am considering doing it again next year. I wasn’t 100% satisfied with the race (parking was a HUGE issue – I walked 2 miles to the race & back) but the cause is such a great one. Only by a second but I will take it. I honestly thought I’d have a much worse time. I walked a bit, there were hills and I had to stop at water stations. There were also no corrals and at the start I got stuck behind many walkers who did not practice good race etiquette  They walked 3-4 abroad and did not stay, or even move, to the right. I take this as an even bigger victory than a one second better time because I was slowed down throughout the course just means I ran faster overall!

On Saturday I participated in the Kiss Me I’m Irish 8K and I plan to do this one next year but aim for the 17K. I liked the course. I liked that it was close to me so I got to sleep in a tad. I liked that I got a new PR. I liked that my friend participated and I had someone to talk to before and after instead of wandering aimless and entertaining myself.

Annnnd… I finally got some good pics of me running! Here is the ones from Saturday (by Zazoosh Photography)

 

In the second pic you can tell I am really moving… Look at that pony tail fly!

Up next on the run front is another 8K on 4/13. It is the K’s for Kids then I have a 4.2 mile race on 4/20 (Pat’s Run). And I don’t know what else. I want to keep building my miles. I have a half planned for November!

In other fitness related news: I walked a 3K on Sunday for Make a Wish and then climbed 3/4 of Camelback. I say 3/4 because we were forced to turn around before we got to the more “rock climbing” up the last hump. I learned an important lesson. Always check your gear, especially if you haven’t used it in a while. You see, my hiking boots fell apart. Literally  The bottom rubber came off. I got the minimalist experience without really wanting it. 😉 There was enough cushion to get down without the bottom of the soles but I felt like the biggest idiot. We are going to attempt in 2 weeks and so I need to find some new shoes in that time.

Also planning to do another short walk on 3/23. This one for MDA. I am all for working out and supporting a good cause!

Tell Me: What have you done lately to stay active? Do, or would, you do walks and runs just to support the cause? Have you ever had a gear issue that has impacted your workout or made you feel like a dumbass? If so, tell me about it. We can all commiserate together. 

I know.. I have been missing in action for quite sometime. I have abandoned all my challenges. I am trying to be as stress free as possible and somethings have just had to go by the wayside.

I am focusing on eating better and working out more, rather than some arbitrary challenge. I bought the book “Practical Paleo” and although I do not agree with everything the author says, I plan to incorporate many of the meals/meal plans into my life. I just cannot give up cheese. I don’t care that I am lactose intolerant. I love my cheese. 😉 I will try to write a more in-depth review of this book and posts recipes as I go.

I have started up P90X, again. I am on week 2. This time I am going all the way through. And I am running regularly again, about 3 times per week. I got a new PR at Saturdays 5k (by one second lol). I already feel so much better than I was last month. Plus I broke past the 2-3 pound gain/lose cycle I was going through. It was getting frustrating but I have moved past it. If I am brave enough, maybe I will post my starting pictures and my (almost) half way pictures. I am still not 100% happy with my body yet.

I am seeing our health coach at work. It is nice to chat with someone about all the stress and stomach issues, someone who isn’t my boyfriend. She has really helped me. She did suggest yoga so I am waiting for a good groupon at a studio near me. I will not go if it is out of my way. I have yet to find any yoga I like; I’ve tried so many dvds and classes in the past and not one has stuck. In the meantime, a friend recommended doyogawithme.com. I have yet to do any of the videos but was looking around it the other day. There is so many videos on there that hopefully I can find a few yoga routines I actually like.

Life has just been hectic. The shortened NHL season has really messed with my schedule. My parents decided to pay a week visit, giving me about a weeks notice that they were coming. But I am working on staying calm, not letting things I can’t control bother me and not stressing.

My company has two jobs open. I am thinking of applying but I need to tell myself that I may not make the short list and I may not get an interview. Every time I apply, I get excited and start planning that I already have the job only to be disappointed when I don’t even get an interview. Both jobs would be an incredible boost in salary as well. I still make the same as I did in 2007. It gets frustrating at times.

I have signed up to participate in the WEGO Health 30 Days, 30 Posts writers challenge. I may not do all 30 days. I should get the prompts sometime this month and can start planning which ones mean the most to me. Look for these posts in April.

I will try to post more here. I have so much going on. I need to clean out my closet, but this time get rid of clothes that are too big (instead of small). And I need to buy a belt. I am not a fan of belts but it is cheaper than replacing all of my jeans now and again when I reach my goal weight. I need to start training for longer runs. I need to find some good 10Ks/15Ks to get my miles up for the two halfs I want to do. I want to get back to doing my hair, makeup, wearing my cute clothes, shoes and accessories. I feel so stuck in a rut! LOL

Here is February’s challenge: Work that Core!

As a runner it is important to have a strong core. I noticed when I was working on my core, I was running faster and feeling better. I got off track around the holidays and now is the time to re-introduce that core work!

Also, I am including push-ups because I have no upper body strength and suck at them. I do the knee push-ups and will probably never graduate to full push-ups.

Here is my plan for February:

Feel free to join me again!

If you are already doing a good base of these moves, why not up your numbers? The purpose is to build each time you do the moves. I am doing these moves every other day, as you don’t need to work abs every day. If you don’t follow my exact days, that’s ok, do them on days convenient for you.

When you get to about mid-month and are doing more sit ups, I suggest doing different versions. Crunches, ones to work your love handles, some to work your lower abs. Mix it up! You can do the same with the push ups. I will most likely be doing all knee-style push ups since I am a wimp. 😉

For the planks, it is an increasing number of seconds. You will notice that I started writing less on the calendar so 40 sec side is hold a side plank for 40 seconds. You can do each side for 40 seconds or each side for 20 for 40 total.

You are always welcome to do more one day but then make sure you build upon that number next time!

 

PS I know this is a day late. Do some today or extra on Sunday to make up. Or just start tomorrow!