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It seems that people are shamed for admitting to wanting to lose weight/get fit for vanity reasons. We all say we want to lose weight to be healthier. When you say you want to look hot people tend to be a bit more judgmental.

Well, screw them. I am trying to lose weight to be healthy but I also want to look hot. I want to look like a bad ass. My goals include a 6 pack and the ability to run in just a sports bra and short shorts. When it is 110 degrees out I don’t want to wear a shirt. I want my thighs to not rub together so I can rock those short shorts.

Is this wrong? Should I only be focused on being healthy? Technically I am healthy right now. I have a good BMI, all my blood work is good. Cholesterol isn’t high. So, do I continue to say I want to be healthy? I am healthy. I want to lose fat, not weight. I want my body to look slamming. I want to wear crop tops and low-rise jeans without a muffin top or love handles.

I want to look like this:

Or this:

I want to be strong. I want arms with amazing definition. I want abs. Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me vain? Shallow? Maybe. But I think those that know me would tell you I am more than just a pretty face that wants to be able to beat the crap out of you.

• Running
• Strength training (possibly read/follow NWOLFW)
• Ballet classes at Ballet Arizona
• Boxing/kick boxing/mma

Once running season is over I will have to adjust again. I believe my last race will be May 3rd. Basically I will need a plan for March and April. I should be able to handle that, right?

I know this is a day late but I ended up having a date night last night. We celebrated our belated anniversary. I figure that is a good enough reason. Anyway, this is a new feature. I am going to keep all my health and fitness post for Fridays. Stay tuned every Friday for a new fitness or health related post!

Tomorrow I have the PF Chang’s Rock n Roll half marathon. I haven’t gotten in much training and was questioning if I should even do it. I thought if I did it and did terribly I wouldn’t be happy. But if I didn’t do it, I would be unhappy as well.

This was last years PF Chang’s. I only did the mini.

I spoke to my health coach about it and she said I probably have enough of a base to be able to complete it, even if I did have to walk every now and then. I think she is right but there will probably be more walking than I’d like. But hopefully I can compete it without having to hop on the trailer vehicle.

I went to the Expo yesterday and got all my stuff and made my decision to do it. I think I would regret not doing it more than I would doing it (and just not doing as well as I’d like).

I have created a new running plan. Part of my downfall for this was I didn’t have a good plan. I was just kind of haphazardly going when I had the time. Then I got sick and have been off the last two weeks.

I am also working on refining my goals for the year. I am taking a Maximize Your Motivation class through work and part of that is goal setting. I have never used the SMARTER approach in my personal life but am going to work on it for my 2014 goals, so look for that post in the future.

The Awesome 80s Run was… not so awesome.

I do so love the t-shirt and medal I “earned” but it won’t be enough to bring me back next year.

It actually started leading up to the event. The website and social media accounts were not clear on packet pick up. Was it the Friday before? Was it the morning of? I even emailed them to ask but never heard back. They eventually sent a mass email that linked to their site saying only day of but later that day Road Runner Sports tweeted they had packet pick up the day before. I went morning of and they only had two people. The set up lacked good flow and was kind of a mess.

The course itself was somewhat dangerous. The first part was decent and weaved us through the giant empty parking lot but then we got onto the roadway and they didn’t have a lane closed off so a car could have easily came up the lane people were running and walking in. I tried to stick to the sidewalk when I realized this but saw so many people in the road who appeared oblivious to this fact.

We then went on a dirt path, which was pretty rocky. I don’t mean gravel or hard packed rock. There was a ton of loose rocks and rather large stones. There were also huge tire ruts in various places. I was kind of thankful I was walking instead of running. I would have probably tripped and fell or twisted my ankle.

We then ran along another (major) road. I stuck to the sidewalk again because it was not closed to traffic. Did I mention in both spots we were going with traffic, making it even harder to see cars? Although you would have to be blind or extremely distracted to not see the large groups of people..

We went back into the parking lot and there were cars coming in! A few of the cars got fairly close to runners. There was no where for either to go. Then we pass a construction area. They were laying asphalt and smoking as we went by. Yah, neither of those are particularly good for my asthma. Then came the even more dangerous area. The road was one lane each way and it was an out and back, so runners/walkers on both sides. There were several vehicles going in and out including large construction vehicles. At one point I had to tap my friend and have her look behind because a truck was coming up. 

I have never done a race in which I felt so endangered as this one. It was ridiculous. 

I didn’t run due to being sick the last few days. I walked 3.1 miles in about 46 minutes (not officially timed but they had a clock at the finish).

All Images Copyright: Her Life… Most Ordinary, 2014.

Since I last wrote I finished my first half marathon on November 3rd. I reached 2 of 3 goals and just barely missed the third.

1) I completed the half marathon

2) I ran the entire race (minus the few water stations where I had to walk)

3) Finish in 2:30 – This is the one I just missed. I came in at 2:31:51 seconds. My goal for PF Chang’s Rock N Roll Half will be 2:30 or less. I think I can do that.

The weather was pretty decent. It was a little warm by the end but perfect to start off. The route was great. My only complaint is they put a photographer at the top of the biggest hill. We don’t have many of those in Phoenix so it takes a lot of effort to push through them. I did not look pretty when I reached the top.

During the first mile I wasn’t sure I was even going to be able to run. I tried to start off fairly slow, and I was pretty slow but not out of choice. I was having some horrible shin splints. I was nearly in tears. I thought about giving up. I convinced myself to stick with it and by mile two/three I was feeling much better.

I started off so slow that I didn’t pass the 2:45 pace group until about mile 5. I never did catch up to, or even see, the 2:30 pace group. They must have went much faster than 2:30.

I ordered this picture with a fancy frame that shows my name and finish time.

It felt so amazing to cross the finish line. I completed 13.1 miles. If you had told my 14-year-old self that I would even think about a half marathon at 33 she would have laughed at you. I used to hate running. Mostly because my asthma was so bad and I didn’t have any control over it at that time (and the drugs they gave me did nothing).

I took a week off and have been slowly adding miles again. I ran 4.28 miles yesterday. I am trying to add between .25 and .75 each time I run. I am feeling good and moving faster. The weather has been so great.

Saturday I have a virtual 5K. I ran the real 5K last year. I hope to beat my time, although without the race setting I tend to pace fairly slow. I will have to push myself. Maybe wearing the bib will help.

I’m number 3, watch for me on the road! (I won’t be wearing the race t-shirt. It is long sleeve!)

After my virtual race I am planning a Thanksgiving Day race. I am debating between a 10K or 10 miles. I am currently leaning toward the 10K since I haven’t been logging as many miles. After that I have a few races planned in December and January to keep me out of trouble!

I completed my longest long run today, 13 miles, and I learned some valuable lessons in those miles. You have a lot of time to think when it is just you and the road for 13 miles.

Even though it feels great at a little before 6, the sun will soon be above the horizon and without a cloud in the sky it will get hot very quick. I should know this. I just can’t get up and moving much before 6. I try but it never happens. I just need to accept the fact that clouds are a rarity here in Arizona and the sun will always shine.

I started off really well in my training, working very hard not to miss a day but then I fell off the wagon. I struggled for the last few weeks to hit every run. Why? Humidity. I have learned that I would much rather run in 110+ degrees with little to no humidity than 105 with humidity. Humidity doesn’t allow my skin to cool off and I overheat quite easily. 

I also learned that if I stick with my training these runs will be much easier. A few weeks ago I did a 10 mile run with no problems. I ran all 10 miles. Today I struggled with 13 miles. I even tried to take a few short walk breaks early on to help but I ended up walking half of the last three miles. This doesn’t include the pit stop I took at home to refill my water/Gatorade bottles. Note to self: purchase another set of bottles for my belt so I can just exchange on the fly.

I have been running off and on for about 10 years. I have never had the dreaded chub rub until this week. Now my thighs are on fire! I guess I need to pick up some body glide. Who knew a little chaffing could hurt so much?? I’ve only had minor chaffing on the underarms due to dance costumes. It never lasted long after but man, the thighs are another story!

Shoes really do make all the difference. I have been doing my last few runs in my trail runners because my other shoes are dead. I can tell a difference. My trail runners are heavier and don’t fit as well. I have a blister on my toe to prove it. I really don’t like the heaviness either. My legs feel like they are running through concrete at times.

I have lost my ability to know my approximate pace. I noticed it this week. I feel like I am running much faster than I am. I don’t know if it is the shoes, the heat or something else. I need to work on this. I was so good at pacing myself last winter/earlier this summer.

But I have gained the ability to breathe through my nose for most of my run! I used to always struggle with that. I would start out ok but as I picked up speed I would start to breathe through my mouth, which lead to a dry throat and drinking mas quantities of water. It seems I have finally conquered this last road block. I noticed today that my breathing felt natural and I was rarely switching to mouth breathing. I think I may have my asthma under control without medicine! *knocks on wood*

And lastly, a confession. I remember reading in a forum about girls that go commando when they workout. I was all, “Ewwww, that is so unsanitary” but I have found myself going for runs in just my compression shorts. And it feels fabulous! I don’t have to worry about where my underwear is. I feel dryer actually. So, I admit it. I was wrong. I like running sans underwear! LOL

I completed the 13 miles in about 2 hours 45 minutes and I am now fairly confident that I can finish my half around 2:30. How do I figure? Well, November will be cooler, therefor; I will be faster. Plus I have time to continue working on my endurance and stamina.

I feel like I have a list a mile long of products to buy at Road Runner Sports. Now I just need to find the time to get my butt over there. I will be a much happier runner when I do!

Sunday morning I got up early. I was looking forward to an easy 6 mile long run. I ate a little something, got dressed and headed out. I did my warm up walk and then hit the ground running. Slowly. Very slowly. My legs had never felt this heave before. I was on pace for a 14:30 miles. My legs just kept getting heavier and heavier.

It was hot. It was humid. Why was it so hot and humid so early? And then it happened. I stopped. I started crying. I could not run any further. I checked my runkeeper. One mile. I went one mile. One mile of six. I could not run any further. Ii walked home, trying to hold in the tears. I took off all my gear. I went to bed. I was still in my running clothes and shoes and I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up about ab hour and a half later and realized this should not happen. Something was wrong. I felt tired, run down and always hungry. I need more calories. I need to eat more. But how much more? I don’t want to gain. I’d actually like to lose more, maybe 10-15 pounds.

I gave myself permission to eat for the last 3-4 days. And eat I did. Now I need to eat to survive and conquer my half marathon and the training that goes with it.

I am currently set to maintenance for moderately active (3-5 days/hours per week) but my miles are starting to rack up and I still want to do some strength training. Do I then use very active (6-7 days/hours per week)?

Here is what I am currently doing:

Tues/Thurs/Sat: 4-5 miles 45-60 minutes (not including warm up, cool down and stretching)
Sunday: 10+ miles (starting this week) 90-120+ minutes (again not including warm up, cool down and stretching)
You Are Your Own Gym: 4 days a week but thinking of cutting it to two days a week. I would do this Tues/Thurs/maybe Sat after my run. Then Mon and Wed would be complete rest days. Each YAYOG workout is about 40 minutes (including rest breaks).

Should I be moderate or very active? Or somewhere in between? Do I cut 10% to keep trying to lose weight? I don’t know why but my brain is just swimming with all these numbers. I am feeling completely lost.

I have always thought of myself as a fairly confident individual. I was always sure of who I was and that I could accomplish whatever I put my mind to. I was also confident in my body and looks.

But over the past year or so I have struggled to regain that confidence. I felt fat. I felt that I failed at a lot of things in general. I felt things were beyond my control. I was not happy. I lost most, if not all, of my confidence. I decided to change for the better. I started with what I knew I could change: my health.

I am still struggling with losing weight but I am getting my confidence back. My body isn’t perfect but it is much better. My calf muscles are solid. My waist is more defined. My stomach is flatter (when I watch my wheat and sodium intake). My clothes fit and look better, although most are now too big. You can see I have a shape again. I still have work to do but I love my body again.

And I am realizing what my body is capable of again. I was always confident in dance, volleyball and weight lifting (among other physical activities) but I’ve always struggled to be confident in my running. I hated having to run a mile in gym class. I have exercise induced asthma and didn’t know how to breathe (and of course gym teachers had no clue how to help me except just say, “do what you can”). I sucked. When I quit dance I started running off and on as a way to stay in shape. Over the years I have gotten better at the whole breathing thing but at each new distance I worry I can’t do it. I lose my confidence.

I am training for my first half marathon (even though when I signed up I had never done more than 6 miles at a time). For awhile I thought I was crazy. I kept thinking, “I can’t do this. What was I thinking?” I told myself I had to stick exactly to the training schedule in order to reach this goal.

I was going along really well, feeling great and then I missed two runs in one week due to back issues. I missed my long run. It was to be seven miles. I had never done seven miles. I looked ahead and saw my next long run was eight miles. How could I do eight if I didn’t do seven? I started freaking out, just a tad. I worried I wouldn’t be able to complete all eight. I looked at my run details. It was to be four miles at a slow, steady pace, followed by three at a faster pace and the last back to the slow, steady pace. I decided that mentally I would break the run into three runs. I know I can do four miles, three miles and one mile.

You know what? I did it. I ran the entire eight miles. It was sometimes slower than my target pace but I finished. I don’t know what happened but now I know I can do 13.1 miles. My mind is now saying, “If you can do eight, you can do 13.1” I feel so much confidence in my training now. I feel like I can reach the running goals I set myself.

I am feeling like my old, confident self. And I love it!

Have you ever lost your confidence? How did you get it back? What makes you feel most confident?